The following regulations are established to ensure the smooth and effective operation of a Scrum workshop. These guidelines have been designed to promote consistency, transparency, and accountability while fostering an environment that supports productivity and collaboration. All participants are expected to adhere to these regulations in order to maintain a professional and respectful atmosphere. Please review the regulations carefully and ensure compliance at all times​

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------- During the course -------

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(A) Time Estimation

Never ever, trust a time estimate given by a trainer. Especially if they were a developer.

And double especially if the trainer's name is Danko.

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(B) Camera off

If a student keeps their camera off during the session, they’ll be required to turn it on during the lunch break.

Prepare your snacks accordingly

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(C) Repeating

Under no circumstances will a trainer repeat themselves. If you missed it the first time, welcome to the club.

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(D) Learn and Drive

In the highly unlikely event that a student is driving during the workshop, the trainer will kindly suggest

that the student take the certification test immediately while still driving.

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(E) Talking in mute

If a student talks while muted, 42 points will be deducted from their test score

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------- Emails --------

(F) Spam

Any student who accidentally or intentionally claims that no emails were arrived to him/her

and will eventually find it in its spam, will not be certified until August 18, 2076. Maybe. 

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(G) Commitment

If a student breaks their commitment to doing absolutely nothing, their certification will be suspended

until August 18, 2070 – or until they learn how to do nothing properly, whichever comes first.

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(H) Commitment - Last minute

If a student admits they broke  their commitment to doing absolutely nothing just before the beginning

of the workshop,  their certification will be suspended until November 26, 2070 and their test on 2070

will not be an open book test

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(I) WhatsApp Group

Any student who claims they weren’t invited to the workshop’s WhatsApp group,

will be banned from it – immediately and forever. No questions asked.

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(J) Being Polite (by) raising hand

If a student is raising hand in order to ask a question the trainer will assume they are located somewhere in Europe

and will promptly ask where. 

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​​-------- Questions --------

 

(K) One Question

Any student who says they will ask "just one question" but ends up asking more,

will be answered in reverse order... starting from the last question they didn’t even ask.

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(L) Last Question

If a student declares that they’re asking the “last question,” they will lose the right to ask any further questions

until their certification expires... in another lifetime.

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(M) Forgeting a question

If a student forgets a question, the trainer will give this student an answer as if the question

was from the waterfall worlds

(N) Quick Question
If a student starts with "I have a quick question," they will receive the longest answer possible,

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(O) Question, question 
Any student who asks, “Can I ask a question?” will be forced to ask "can I ask two questions?" 

 

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(P) Breakout Rooms
Any student who disconnects and returns without knowing which breakout room

they were in will be assigned to a random room... or possibly sent to the Twilight Zone. 

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(Q) The Name-Changer’s Fate
Anyone daring to ask for a change in their name AFTER the trainer has registered them

will be doomed to wander the rest of their life as Anonymous

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(R) The "Noisy Note-Taker" Rule
A student that will be heard typing, will create a detailed summary of the entire session to all students. 

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(S) Amnesia 
Anyone who forgets to fill out the attendance sheet from the previous day

will prove they were in the previous day by asking a question nobody knows 

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(T) The Time Traveler Rule
Any student who answers a question correctly but to a question that

either yet to be asked

or already been asked

must confess to owning a time machine!

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(X) Link to the Students file

If a student asks the link to the students file, the words "THE LINK" will be provided to this student

and this student will be in charge on sending the summary of the topics to the rest of the students 

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(Y) Accessing Class Documents
If the User cannot access documents due to attending the class from a work machine (or other firewall restrictions), they are honor bound to replace their wallpaper with "people over process" for a minimum of one week.

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(AA)  Yes, sir 

If a student shall ever address the trainer but "Sir" then henceforth the student shall speak on an exaggerated British accent for the remaining of the class.

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(AB) The Trainer's fault

Should the trainer think he is sharing his screen, but he is not, then the trainer will be required to list the nine Star Wars movies (aka episodes I through IX) in chronological order, not release order (but only after you will be certified...)